Trouble in School

My school here used to be the one thing that kept me here. However, after I changed families and started doing more activities, I haven't really been enjoying school as much as I did earlier. My classmates haven't really been the most friendly to me, and it was starting to just get to the point where I don't really talk to my classmates very much because if I try to join a conversation they kind of push me out. I don't know if they are doing it on purpose, but sure feels that way. Anyways, today was a really good day and a really bad day. It was good because we were picking the King and Queen of the school dance that we're going to have (we pick one king and queen for each grade), and they all voted for me as queen! Which is super exciting!! I can't wait!

And it was bad because my Lit teacher told me to group up with two other girls for a presentation that we had to do today. Usually I don't do anything in class, so my group was kind of like "she has to do something?". So they gave me the material to study, and made it very clear that if I didn't study they would not pass. So I studied and studied, and tried to understand the text...I have no idea why, but it just didn't stick in my brain. I got to school this morning and I couldn't remember a thing about the subject, and I told my group that, and one of the girls (pilar) said "Ok, then we won't do the presentation, because we can't do it if some people know the material and others don't". I felt so bad! They weren't going to pass because I didn't know the material, which I didn't think was far at all. So the teacher comes in and asks us to come up, and Pilar went and talked to the teacher (she was always my classmate that helped me with everything, and was always nice to me), when she came back the other girl in the group (carolina) starts talking to her about how they should talk to the teacher and they should do the presentation and that it wasn't far that they weren't going to pass because I didn't study (I did study, but she was completely right, it wasn't far, and I almost went up to the teacher to explain what had happened so that they could still pass). Then another girl (someone who wasn't in the group) asks me if I had studied, and I tell her that I did, but that I don't know the material (I know, I know, your probably thinking that I didn't study too, it sounds ridiculous, but it's true) then Carolina says to the other girl, "no she didn't study", to which Pilar stares at her paper nodding her head. and I was just so...I don't know...I seriously wanted to cry. Then the other girl sees my face and says "Oh so you didn't understand then"...but the thing was that I had translated it and I did understand it when I was reading it, but it just didn't stick in my brain. Now, I feel absolutely horrible! I told them that I'm sorry, but I will never be a part of their group ever again, I will make sure that I never do another project with them(or with anyone) because I don't want that if I can't pull through for them they can still pass.

It was also bad because later I was hanging out with some other girls and we were about to leave and one girl asked the other girls if they wanted to go downtown and I was thinking that they met me too...I guess not because when they left I got stuck behind the younger students that were leaving (it's also a primary school too), and when I got out they were already around the corner walking towards downtown..I guess I wasn't envited...Okay.

So now I don't know what to do, because they elected me queen, but I originally wasn't going to go to the one at my school (There are ones for each high school). My friend had envited me to go with her and her class, and I was going to go because I know her and her friends and they are really nice, and I know I'll have a great time! But I feel like if I don't go to mine then my relationship with my classmates will be non existent. I just don't know if I'm going to enjoy myself, because I feel like I will probably get pushed out again so I will be by myself the whole time...I want to be with friends...if they don't want to be my friends then I don't really want to hang out with them. But I also don't want to tell them that I'm not going.

Well I'm sure I'll figure it out...At least there isn't any school tomorrow (it's a holiday...for people who teacher small children...there are so many holidays here that the U.S will probably never have..:/ )

Stephanie <3